![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
britgeekgrrl and I gots the best friends in the world, and I'll defend that opinion to the death.- Mood:
awake
- Mood: tired
...Well, it sucked.
I may have had too much of an emotional investment in it going in, given my deep and abiding love of all things Trek from nearly the day I was born. Maybe I was in a bad head space from stress. I dunno. What I do know is that from about two minutes in, I realized I couldn't connect on any level with what I was watching, beyond "whoa, those are some pretty effects."
I *do* agree that Karl Urban was born to play Dr. McCoy, though.
I may have to watch it again, and see if I feel differently. But for now, Joe Bob Alex says "save your money for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
- Mood: aggravated
Being a grownup sucks.
- Mood: cranky
I got up from bed to see what the results were. With 86% of the counties tallied, I see no hope of Prop. 8 not being carried through. Congratulations. You're well on your way to getting the government you truly deserve. Maybe I'll move back to Kansas. They may be batshit loony Red Staters, but they haven't curtailed Constitutional rights...yet.
- Mood: crushed
- Music:Laments in my Mind
All existing lymph nodes are shrinking or are gone, there are no new tumors, and the area of concern in my liver is also responding well and shrinking rapidly. Combined with the blood test results I've been getting (CEA's are down to 3.3 and falling), I could be technically cancer-free by December.
On the flip side, I've discovered other things that my idiot former oncologist didn't tell me about, but they aren't anything to get excited about at all. Just general health things that he once again glossed over. I think I'll run him over with the car if I see him again. Just because.
- Mood: pleased
Birthday Wishes for manictao and doctor_toc
- Mood: awake
Methinks it's time to lose a little weight again, but THIS time I'll do it with exercise and dieting, instead of non-elective surgeries.
- Mood: content
britgeekgrrl pointed out to me that Saturday (she came in with me to see the Fox Studios panel on "The X-Files"); "Keep in mind that your average gamer is actually a pretty social person, as they get together once a week or a couple of times a month and game with others. How often do you think any of these people actually get out and interact with...well, anyone?" Pretty cogent point.So no more comic conventions for me, I think. The once was enough.
...
Got ahold of an actual person at Kaiser...finally. Long story short, between the insurance hiccup earlier this month and Kaiser's switching over to a new computer system, I fell off their active database. Thus, the no contact for weeks. However, it's all straightened out now, and I'm seeing the surgeon next Wednesday, and I'm being fast-tracked for surgery late in March. Further updates there as they come in.
...
In other fun medical news, I seem to have a cracked bottom left molar. Where that came from is anybody's guess (probably from grinding my teeth at WonderCon). So I'm on antibiotics right now to get the rather impressive swelling down, and I have an appointment next week to have it taken out. I'm just all about the surgery this month, I guess.
...
Couple of you are still waiting on me for several things (game related, personal e-mails). I'm getting to them, I swear.
...
And because it looks like fun, a ( meme )
- Mood: drained
I hurt like a son of a bitch in the abs (where most of the major surgery had to take place) and in the butt (for obvious reasons), my appetite is nowhere near what it should be (yet), and I haven't had a decent bath or full night's sleep in over a week.
And yet, all this pales in comparison to the fact that I'm home, and according to my doctors I've got an outstanding chance at beating the cancer in the five-year run. Yes, this means a few lifestyle changes - one of which is this baggy lump now hanging from my abdomen. And it means a few more months of discomfort as things slowly heal. But I'll deal. The alternative sucks.
Obviously, I couldn't have done this alone. I think I would have gone mad or opened up the morphine drip to full blast if
britgeekgrrl hadn't been there for me, and I thank God or Buddha or Coyote or whatever you believe in that she was there, and will still be there in my old, infirm age.I had no chance to see any of the comments you all left in
britgeekgrrl's various posts, but she told me about them, and it means a lot to me that you were all pulling as hard as you did for me. Many of you went those extra miles to fetch and carry things for us, watching the house while we were gone, and just coming by and holding my hand when I needed desperately to know that I wasn't alone. To all of you, I cannot adequately tell you how much you mean to me, but as I've been given more time on this earth now, I will try as hard as I can to do so in the years we have in front of us.I am now off to find a shower, some food, and my copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, so I can get caught up before the whole of western civilization grinds to a halt at Midnight on Friday. I might be away from LJ-land for a bit as I recover, but I'm here, I promise, and I ain't going anywhere. So I'll see you all soon.
Other than that he remains optimistic that given my reaction to the radiation and chemotherapy and how well the tumor reacted, my chances for non-recurrence are still very good. I still get more chemotherapy after the surgery - four months, to be exact, and not the pill form either but the full-on 5-FU infusion treatment. Joy. At least
logan_w might get his wish after all and see me losing my hair. I still like to remind him that, in my case at least, it'll grow back.The current plan is that on Tuesday the 10th, my dad will be picking
britgeekgrrl and I up from the house and taking us to Kaiser Walnut Creek, where he'll wait with Johanna until I'm out of surgery. What the plan is after that I have no idea, 'cause I'll be non compos mentos for a while (like, until Thursday if I get my wish). So if Johanna has said that it's OK to visit, and you do, don't expect much out of me except the occasional drooling and eye-rolling.I don't know if I'm going to be posting again before the big day - I suspect I will at least one more time. If I don't, though, then you all take care of yourselves, and I'll talk to you again sometime in the next three to four weeks.
- Mood: tired
So.
The date's been set. July 10th is now the day I go into Kaiser for my operation. Some of you may already know this from
britgeekgrrl's post yesterday.How'm I feeling? Mostly relieved. I've wanted to know the date for a while now, so I could get my affairs in order (get the house cleaned, get some bills pre-paid so that I don't have to worry about them...things like that) and get in the right mind set. And for the most part I *am* looking forward to this. Oh, the couple of weeks just after the surgery are going to be fifteen kinds of pure hell, but at least I know that it's the beginning of the end. From that date, I'll slowly start getting better and better, until maybe around Christmas I can finally put all this worry and pain behind me.
Now, that's not to say that I'm also not freaking out a bit. I've got some issues with going under the knife that stem back from an accident I had when I was six, and I had to go into the hospital for an operation. That time was pretty traumatic, and I don't think I've ever dealt with the psychic scars that incident left me. So I'm trying to find ways to deal with that in a hurry. Alcohol helps ;-)
There's other concerns too. If the lymph nodes are involved (unlikely, but possible), my chances of making it through the next five years with no recurrence drops down to about 65-70%, but my oncologist thinks that number is actually a little higher because of the intense chemotherapy and radiation I've already received. The bad news is that I'll get fitted with a shunt during the operation, and that I'm looking at about four months of additional chemotherapy after the surgery, and it ain't the pill form this time. So that won't be much fun. And of course I'm worried about taking so much time away from work. Will they let me come back afterwards? It's all well and good to say that they wouldn't dare let me go during convalescence from surgery, but companies do it all the time without fear of retribution. But that's not as much a worry as everything else.
I'm talking to my surgeon this coming Monday, the 2nd of July. I imagine he'll have instructions for what I'll need to do over the next week to get ready. I know for sure that after the surgery, I'll be in Kaiser for about four to five days, and then back at the house to convalesce for another four weeks after that. If you're interested in visiting, Johanna is drawing up a schedule in her post from yesterday, and I'm happy to let her take the lead on this sort of thing - she's ever more social than I am, and good at this sort of coordination.
Anyway, more bulletins as I get information.
- Mood: nervous
- Music:Queen - Bicycle Race
- Mood: sore
- Music:Cheap Trick - Mighty Wings
I have one primary cancer site, about 8 cm into my lower intestine. We've done multiple images through ultrasound and CT scans, and everything has come back negative for spread, meaning that this is the only site where there is any cancer. The polyp I have is considered a T3-N1 lesion, which means that it's a large tumor (which is what's causing the constipation and pain), but the N1 means that there has been no metastasis - it hasn't spread.
The surgeon believes I'm very likely to have a permanent colostomy after surgery; however, there is a small chance he will be able to complete a resection without the colostomy - that we won't know until the time of surgery when he can examine the entire colon. (A resection means that I'd still have use of my bowels without a colostomy bag.) I've got a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, which will also help determine how extensive the surgery will be.
For sure I'm going to be going through a course of radiation/chemotherapy. I'm seeing a radiologist at John Muir Medical Center on Tuesday, and we'll determine the start date and the length of treatment at that time. We're not sure how long I'll be on the chemo/radiation, but surgery will probably be scheduled "six to eight weeks" out (from ending chemo/radiation). Given that the surgeon wants to see me six weeks from now, I'm assuming, but not certain, the chemo/radiation will last 6-8 weeks and then surgery will be scheduled after that. So the surgery might be around June/July - possibly earlier depending on how I respond to the chemo, his schedule, etc.
The chemo they're having me start on is called Xeloda. Unlike most other types, this is in pill form, so no injections or shunts. Also, I won't be losing my hair or facing any of the other usual side-effects, except I might get dried skin on my hands. A good hand lotion will alleviate any problems there. After the surgery I'll be looking at maybe another four to six weeks of chemo, just to make sure we got all of the little bastard.
Both the surgeon and the oncologist are of the opinion that we've caught this super early, and that the chances of getting it all and having no recurrance is in the high 90%. I'm gonna be sick for a while, that's for sure (
britgeekgrrl's father's wife is helping me get my disability paperwork together, because for sure I'm going to be out of work for about a month just before and after the surgery), but things look good otherwise.If things go as scheduled, I'm going to be getting pretty under the weather right around Kublacon, so I'm thinking it'd be a good idea now to pull my proposed game. I don't want to, but better that than putting on a bad show because I'm too sick to run the game effectively.
More posts later, as it looks to be a slow day here. Comments and cheerful distractions are most gratefully appreciated.
- Mood: exhausted
- Music:Men at Work - Who Can It Be Now?
There may be more news after the weekend, when I talk to the surgeon and oncologist. I'll keep everyone posted.
- Mood: busy
- Music:Planet P Project - I Won't Wake Up
My name is Alex Baker.
I have cancer.
( Here are the details )
- Mood: drained
- Music: Harry Gregson-Williams - The Battle
- Going to work is much more fun when the entire upper management of your office (including your boss) are off on vacation for the week.
- Remember kids - when a well-known teenaged actor drops his kit for a stage play, it merely creates "controversy." If his female co-star ever did the same thing, t3h Internets would melt.
- Never agree to run your monthly 7th Sea game when you don't have a plot in mind. This creates stress. [1]
- Never agree to run a live-action role playing event at a local gaming convention that's less than three months off when you don't have a plot in mind. This creates even MORE stress.[2]
- Don't be surprised when, after missing a week of working out, you suddenly feel like crap when you get back on your regular schedule. Also, don't be surprised when no-one shows any sympathy for your whining.
- Some people are fucktards and do not deserve to live, let alone hold jobs in customer service.
... - And finally, Zod still says KNEEL!
[1] Actually I do have an idea, it's just not all that fleshed out yet.
[2] Ditto.
- Mood: awake
- Music:Elliott Smith - Son of Sam
To be honest, I hadn't been checking my weight very seriously up 'till then. I knew I was upwards of 190 lbs. How far upwards surprised me. According to the super-calibrated scale they had me hop on, I was 202 pounds.
Let's review that - two HUNDRED and two pounds. That put my BMI at 31.9, which is so not good. A BMI of 30 or greater in men over 40 is heart attack territory, according to my doctor, and that was a bit of a wake-up call.
Day before yesterday I went back in for a four-week follow-up, where they weighed me again. The verdict? 185 pounds. Seventeen pounds lost, two inches off my waist. OK, so it was probably mostly water weight, but I'll take my successes where I can get them.
So now the goal is for me to hit 170 lbs by the end of March, if possible (I think I'll actually plateau around 175, which would be good enough for me), and 160 by May. Personally, I think my doctor is high if he believes I'll ever see the back half of 160 again (I was heavier than that ten years ago while I was still in the military), but I'll continue the good eating habits and the exercising and see where it gets me.
Now if I could just lose the padding around my chin I'd be ecstatic.
- Mood: busy
- Music:Air Supply - Sweet Dreams
Well...that and nothing really interesting happening that you haven't read about over on
britgeekgrrl's journal. However, there is something we're doing this weekend (aside from
shannybug's birthday dinner on Saturday) that I wanted to see if there was any interest for.On Sunday the 14th, Christopher Titus is doing a show at Tommy T's in Pleasanton, and Johanna and I are going to go to either the 8PM or the 10PM show (seeing as we don't have to work the next day), depending on we make plans for dinner beforehand. Tickets are $25 each, which is a little steep, but we've never gone to one of Titus' shows and been disappointed, so we're willing to pay a bit.
Anyone interested?
- Mood: awake
- Music:Journey - Seperate Ways
ratontheroad and lovmelovmycats going away party is this weekend. Though I'm really, really looking forward to it, I don't know how much drinking I'll be doing. I got really torn up on my birthday back in August, and the hangover the next day was kind of excruciating (of course, drinking two bottles of port in an hour will do that to anyone). I might try keeping a lid on the boozing this time (if only to give tronpublic someone semi-sober to talk to during the evening).I'd like to head up tonight to take part in the LARP that
feyandstrange is running, but britgeekgrrl and I decided that it would be easier on the house finances (and our livers) if we went up tomorrow instead of tonight, as we're going to have to kennel Sandy for the weekend. Which is a pity - I understand the game is a Call of Cthulhu LARP where the participants play idealized versions of themselves. I'd be vastly amused to see what feyandstrange's version of me would have been like.I've been thinking of trying the "Ask Me Anything" meme that
britgeekgrrl currently has up on her journal, but the last time I did that the response was lackluster. Maybe because I've not got that much depth to me? Deep like a piece of paper, baby. I briefly thought of opening up the journal for that meme to anonymous posters, but anonymous posters make my blood boil. If it's not something you think you can say to my face, you shouldn't be saying it at all is my feeling. So I dunno. I'll think about that one for a bit.(Although honestly, with this party coming up tomorrow - I probably don't NEED to do the meme. Most of the people I'd probably get a response from are going to be there, and not only do they all know me already, but there's going to be enough liquor that I'll be getting honest opinions whether I want them or not ;-) )
::looks around:: Nope, still bored. Crap. All right. I didn't want to do this, but General Zod demands that you amuse me today.
(Actually, the General demands EVERYTHING, so don't get worked up about it. You ought to see him in a Baskin & Robbins. "ZOD DEMANDS MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP, AND THAT YOU KNEEL WHILE DELIVERING IT TO ZOD!!" So embarrassing.)
- Mood: bored
- Music:Gary Numan - Metal
Syndicate
